Appalachian Patria

Appalachian Intellectual. To me that means plain thinking. I am A Non Commissioned Officer in the Army Reserves. Let me say...My views expressed here are mine and not those of The U.S. Army, Army Reserve or my fellow brethren in The National Guard. This is entirely Sua Sponte. This is My Thinking. I'm single and in my mid 30's. Politicaly, I'm a Libertarian. (Again, Sua Sponte.I do not represent the Libertarian Party.)I love my native Appalachia, Rock n Roll and...I love God.

Name:
Location: Brevard, North Caroilina

I started blogging for two reasons. I was concerned about the changes to the area I live in, Southern Appalachia and I was about to go to the war. I was in Iraq in 06 and 07 and now Kuwait in 11 and 12. Blogging was a means of documenting my experiences and hoping it would help gain clarity. I don't feel that way about it any more. It's said people write blogs because they are frustrated, that's why people read them too. That makes us sound apocalyptic. Are we? Let it be said, what I say here is of my own thinking. This is entirely Sua Sponte and not an official representation of the U.S. Military or the U.S. Government as a whole.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Strangeylvania County

Cell Phone Bandito
Last Tuesday (26th of June) was my birthday. I hit 39 if your wondering. It was not a good one for several reasons that there is no need to get into. The darndest thing was my cell phone was stolen. My washing machine leaks, so, I went to the laundry mat. I either left the phone in my truck while I stepped inside or placed it on the change machine and got all absent minded. I pretty sure it was in my truck. A Mexican boy was in the parking lot in a red Ford Explorer. I went up the road to a store and went back. I looked for my phone...it's not in the truck, Mexican boy is gone. So I wound up standing in the lobby of the Sheriffs Department for going on two hours waiting for someone to "investigate". There was someone to do it, but he was busy investigating something already. The Dispatcher got to feeling bad for me and talked a Detective off of a case to basically fill out my report. Then I filed my claim with the phone insurance people, system error, had to do it twice.
The Reguvinator calls my number and a Mexican boy answered. He says he found it and is trying to return it, he's in Cashiers. The Reguvinator told him to call him and he would get it at 6 that night. Never called. So, I got my new phone, program it and listen to my messages. Two for Carlos in Spanish. So, last night while hanging at House Of Jello, Mystery Girl, who speaks extremely fluent Spanish, listened to the messages. It's Carlo s's wife and she needs him to come home, then, she said it was almost 10 and she was not going to let him go out no more. My cell phone was stolen by a hen pecked Mexican. I hope she leaves him. Maybe he "spent the night on the hard old floor with nothing to cover up with".

The Story Of The Naked Girl
Jellouise looked out the kitchen window and seen a young girl, early twenties, walking around naked in broad daylight. Then, a few minutes later she was riding a bycycle across their yard wearing only a T shirt. It was The Reguvinators bike, he goes and gets it from her, she makes a week effort to hold onto it, and he said he was calling the Police. She says, "yes, call the police...Help me". He took the bike back to the garage only to see his bike sitting there...Oops. Naked girl crossed the street and knocked on a mans door. He answers and she said "can you help me?". He asked how and she took off her shirt...I thought that only happened in skin flicks...Someone called the Police. Turns out the girl was doing acid and was...Well, tripping. I think the cops decided to take her to the hospital, which was the safest place for her. Now, the girl and her fellar are being evicted. Might as well, the whole neighborhood got to see her without her clothes. There was something about a big dog running lose in City limits too.

It's funny, I was gone for fourteen months, and in some ways it was like I never left. But, I was gone none the less. For two weeks, I didn't think of Iraq, and now...Now it's like, "yeah, I was in Iraq for a year". I've joined the VFW and The American Legion. Oh, that reminds me of a dog story...And you want to know about my Plott. I've got stuff to say, but, I'm going to post this and start drafting the other.

I'ma Drafting It Boss
The Appalachianist


14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

VFW and American Legion - cool, me too (Life Mbr of both). And I found out that there's actually more to 'em than a place to get cheap booze on Sunday (to be straight up that's the main reason why I joined years ago). :-)

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back to America. So sorry about your cell phone App. That sucks. Just trust in Karma. He will get his...or maybe not! Sounds like he is in trouble LOL!

I hope your VFW and American Legion is better than what we have here.

Happy Birthday! 39 and holding eh?

And yes, wanna hear about Plott.

Happy 4th of July. Let Freedom Ring!
God Bless America and those that serve.

Hugs and Cheers to my Applachian Soldier.

4:46 PM  
Blogger Murf said...

The Rejuveinator didn't send her your way as a birthday gift? Unbelieveable. Whatever became of the bike that he stole from the poor, half nekid girl? I think I'd pass on a bike worn by anyone without pants.

Happy Belated Birthday, old man.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Murf said...

Oops..

worn = ridden

Your blog's rubbing off. :-)

4:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.S. I watched the movie Shooter the other night and he was painting and decorating his gun...'er weapon. Couldn't help but think of you. Sorta nifty the way he dolled it all up camo and all.

Oh...I am holding on to myself...just so you know...being patient and such.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Hill Billy Rave said...

Gunner, one reason I joined was my grand Father and his Brothers (still here) were in The Legion, serving on the board. I don't drink.

Annon, well, Carlos caused me unneeded trouble. I really wish he, and all his illegal friends would go home, but, I'm frustrated more than I'm mad.

yes, the 4th Of July, the day Americans blather about freedom, but, don't practice it.

Thank you. You make finishing a gun sound so prissy.

Murf, I ain't old. He gave the bike back and apologized. The cops probably took it back to her house.

I'd like to see that girl wear a bike...

It's the 5th of July, I'm a civilian again.My terminal leave that was saved up ended yesterday.

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What do you mean Americans don't practice freedom . . . you got your cell phone stolen didn't ya (for free). I ain't got no sympathy for ya . . . have you called Sears for service lately? I got sent via phone to Alberta (that's in Canada) and then to Arizona and then to Florida and finally got a return call wanting to know what was wrong with my heat pump . . . well lady, if I knew that I wouldn't need you now would I . . . well, welcome home. I thought I was the only one who put things down . . . I am still laughing about the Karma comment. Lightening will strike . . . take a deep breath and look up to the mountains. God bless you, happy birthday, and I owe you a bought breakfast at the Pisgah Inn at least . . . I think Kelly's is closed and take care of the dog . . . er, Plott hound

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't drink either anymore, A.I. But I still kept up my dues and then when I hit Five-0h I switched to life mbrship in each

I got the old f*rts discount that way :-)

2:07 PM  
Blogger Hill Billy Rave said...

Bill, I was up by the Inn the other night. Kelly's ain't there no more. But, before I left everyone knew me by name at The Huddle House, thenew ones are learning me now. I don't feel sorry for me either. That don't get a soul nowhere. We'll have to do the Inn one morning.

Gunner, thee is alot more than a place to drink at either the VFW od The Legion, the Bar is just the spot light.

4:48 PM  
Blogger sage said...

Happy Birthday there, 39 ain't too bad, better the alternative. Loved your stories--the hen-pecked phone thief (He didn't waste any time giving his wife the number, did he) You should have someone call your old cell home, announcing winning a prize, and grab him when he comes to collect it... The girl on acid, that's what it took to get you to recall Iraq?

6:38 AM  
Blogger Ramblin' Ed said...

Better yet, have some sweet young thing keep calling Carlos throughout the night, cooing on and on about how she can't wait to do him again... and again and again. Let's see how long Mrs. Carlos puts up with that. Or him.

3:25 AM  
Blogger Ramblin' Ed said...

Nothing new to add. Just moving the comment counter off of 11. Been there for 2 days.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"yes, the 4th Of July, the day Americans blather about freedom, but, don't practice it."

Amen and Amen!

"Thank you. You make finishing a gun sound so prissy."

Nothing prissy about a gun and/or weapon. Everything has it's own personality.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Ramblin Ed gave a new reason to post . . . move the number. I was gonna sneak away until I saw that post again. Anyway, the Plott hound story is a waitin' and I figure yu're gonna be 40 by the time it gets here . . . just kidding. It means you're tearin' up the old roads and sniffin' out the hollers I suspect. When I looked at a picture of a Plott hound, I don't know why it reminded me of an old girl friend . . . er, one who has gotten old, but maybe not. I am going with my daughter and son-in-law and two grandchildren to Cherokee Friday and hope to see Unto These Hills again if all goes well. I love to sit in the outdoor theater and wait for the darkness of night. There is something timeless and magical about it. You said the mountains can be . . . well, I won't use your word . . . you are right about it, but they can be all of that and magically beautiful and wonderful at the same time . . . and you know that better than I ever will . . . most who post know it too. Take care Bill (now, I didn't say the Plott hound was . . . well, ugly) Now if that don't make you answer back . . . . sory for so long a post

8:44 PM  

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