The Last Thanksgiving of the Decade
Now, here is your obligatory lecture: Complaining is not giving thanks, so shut up. If the Turkey is dry..."Honey, it's great"...She put that special ingredient in it, heat. You can't cook Turkey with out heat. It gets dry, get over it. So, you're going to watch a ball game after you eat? It doesn't matter if your team loses, because you're going to fall asleep anyway. Dry Turkey does that to you. Wet Turkey will do it. Cranberries are good for you, so eat some of them. And, be grateful about it. Some guy in Wisconsin waded around in a bog for them. It gets cold up there and he did it for the all mighty dollar...Which ain't worth a whole lot right now. But, don't go complaining about the economy. Don't complain about politicians either...so, here goes the list...Your teacher, the cop that wrote you a ticket for doing 95 in a 55, your ex husband/wife, boy friend/ girl friend, Hollywood or Bollywood, Oprah Winfrey, Willie Nelson, the weather, Windows Vista, bureaucrats, work, not working, your family, your friends, your enemies, your enemy's enemies, Facebook, yourself, and don't you dare complain about God.
Well, that ought to cover it. If I missed something, complain after Thanksgiving. Don't let anything or anybody ruin your day.
The Appalachianist