"In A Big Country..."

This is looking up stream on The French Broad River near Rosman NC. It's a unique, it flows north and is said to be the worlds third oldest river. The Cherokees didn't have a name for it, nor any other river. They only referred to it by place names in different sections. Jello Boy and myself took a canoe down it from Rosman to Hannah Ford. That's where Bunker Hill is at that I told you about in The Walton War. That's about 7 1/2 miles, a 2 1/4 hour trip. It had been raining for a couple of day's and the weather broke just perfect long enough for us to go down the section we did.

DUI's And The Mopeds They Rode In On
You don't need a license to ride a moped. That's why when someone gets a DUI they end up cruising along at 35 mph sounding as if a weed eater is winding out underneath them. Well, we have a few around here. There is this colored feller, he rides side saddle. Always on the left side. Sometimes he has both hands on the bars, but mostly just one. I haven't seen him in a while, I hope he didn't lose his balance.
We have another one you see more often. I call him Moped Man. When Moped man rides, there is nothing but him and the wind and you see him all over the county. He rides a shiny yellow one, decked out in sun glasses and a tank top. A helmet too. He reminds you of Dale on King Of The Hill. Now, I've never met the man, never heard him say a word. It's just him and the wind because he unemotionally rides down the road, nothing phasing him, head and eyes straight ahead...Just him and the wind. He skids to a stop at red lights...Head and eyes straight ahead...Waiting for the wind. Now, I saw him Saturday after going down the river. Ol' JB was behind me, he is my witness. Moped Man is winding out down the highway, alone in the wind and he's being passed by a couple of cars. Low and behold one is The Back To The Future mobile. I'm a looking at this thing as I pass it thinking My Goodness. Not Moped Man, head and eyes straight ahead...Just him and the wind.
Once, me and that girl I lived with were going down the highway on a stormy night. We were coming on a place called Cherryfeild Straights. The State keeps a gravel pile there. There's blue lights flashing all around the gravel pile and we're thinking there might be a wreck or something. When we get to the gravel pile we see two Cop Cars, a shiny yellow moped and a man standing out in the pouring rain touching his fingers to his nose...Yes, people, it happened right here in Strangelvania.

My Breif Absence
I've been trying t post, but, Hello was giving me trouble, and I kept getting knocked off line. Turns out I had a short in my phone line. The fine folks at the Phone company squared me away though. Also, the DSL line at work was down this morning. And you thought I fell off the side of the earth!

More to come you silly Heathens!
Appalachian Intellectual